YOUR NANNA PASSES AWAY TODAY

You, me and Bubby went to see her at her bedside the day before yesterday. you knew it would probably be the last time you would see her.

It was difficult for us to see her in such a state. She lied motionless, struggling to open her eyes or to respond to questions. Her discomfort was apparent.

We stayed for about an hour. She was asleep when we left.

Today, I told you the news after picking you up from after school. We went stright to the pizza place where Bubby works and shared some hugs with him. You wanted him to spend the night tonight.

Your Nanna loved you. I am grateful we have pictures and video of many times you two shared. They are now here to help preserve our memories.

BUMPER STICKER WISDOM

Yesterday I saw a bumper sticker that read
"Well behaved women rarely ever make the history books"
I hope someday you understand this in full.
Love, Daddy

DEALING WITH DEATH

Right now your nana and her father 'papa' are both only weeks away from passing it would seem. You are also aware that your great grandmother 'mama' is not doing well either.
You have been handling it al lfairly well on the outside. You have cried from time to time about nana, usually when it's bedtime. How deep inside this is all effecting you I can only guess. I try to be as there for you to speak your mind as possible.
The other day at dinner you said "I'm not sure yet if God exists. But if he does, I wish he would space things out a bit."
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at that so I just smiled and agreed with the concept.

DADDY LOVES HIS JOB

Aspen,
Since your mommy moved away I have been raising you by myself. I have had people from time to time tell me that they couldn't raise a child by themselves and that they admired how I am taking care of all that goes with raising a child on my own.
The funny thing is that I have never found the task to be that challenging. I certainly have a lot less free time to hang out with friends and I can't go to all the concerts I would if your mom still lived here to watch you half the week, but I thoroughly enjoy doing all the daddy tasks with and for you.
I love cooking dinner for two as you sit in the living room doing your homework. I love taking you to riding lessons. I love volunteering at your school so I can see you in class (a setting in which most parents rarely get to see their child interact). I love planning the birthday parties. I love helping you get ready for bed and up in the mornings. I love getting you to school. I love all of our interactions throughout ever day. I love watching you get smarter and wiser. I love seeing you ask more detailed and intelligent questions than you did from the month before. I love having to buy you new clothes when the ones I got you a month ago that you only wore once are now too small. I love reading to you, particularly when you bring it up. I love you wanting to hear more of my music (Buffett, Cash, Springsteen). I love when you ask me for advice on how to deal with friends or situations at school. I love seeing your interest form in hobbies and passtimes as the months go on.
I do not find raising my 8 yr old girl to be 'work', at least not hard work.
Being your daddy continues to be the most educational and rewarding undertaking I could ever be blessed with. There are times when I am challenged by being a full time single daddy, but 'challenging' is a positive. I have never felt overwhelmed by anything in the realm of 'daddydom'.
There is nothing I would change about my life or who you are.

HORSES, INJURIES AND CLARIFICATION

Yesterday at horse lessons the girl behind you got kicked by another horse that bucked. Her leg got broke from the kick.
I came to pick you up after the trail ride and you were visibly upset. The girl finally came out of the trail 10 minutes after the rest being led. When they got her off the horse her pant leg was soaked in blood. You were standing right there watching her. You were very concerned for her.
Even 30 minutes later after we had left you were fighting back tears. Seeing her screaming in pain effected you heavily.
I tried to reassure you that the girl would be fine. She would not be in pain by the end of the day after she took some medicine and had the cast on.
Then of course you were concerned about the horse too. I couldn't figure out why at first. The horse wasn't hurt.
You told me that whenever a horse broke a leg it had to be put down.
I tried not to laugh as I explained that a horse is put down when it breaks its own leg, not when it breaks a person's leg.
I'm not sure you believed me though.